House Rules! - Special Premier Edition!

Giant Sized Ms. Marvel #1 (One-Shot)

"Moment of Clarity"

Writer: Brian Reed
Art: Jimmy Palmiotti/Roberto de la Torre/Chris Sotomayer

Note-a-Quote: "Kitty, you wouldn't happen to have any superpowers, would you? Because I could really use some help here." - Carol Danvers AKA Ms. Marvel (Given the situation, it wasn't that out of place to ask)

Carol Danvers sleeps in her underwear.

Okay, I could have started with a nice sentence like, "As our story begins, Carol Danvers awakens from her slumber to find...." but let's face it. If you bought the book and opened the cover, that first sentence I wrote is the same thought you had, too. Actually, if you're me, that thought is momentarily interrupted with the thought, "Sweet Georgia Brown, that's some booty!" Ahem.

But I digress.

I digress a great deal.

Carol Danvers awakens in her apartment seemingly in a mild daze. But in her defense, she has reason for a mild brain scramble. You see, just yesterday, everything she knew was different. And not in that, "Today I'm in love, lala..." kind of way. You see, yesterday, Carol was stuck in the House of M (for any of you who have no clue what House of M is/was, just insert random parallel universe here). Stuck in is really the wrong way to look at it, since despite what it may have been for others, Carol (known there as Captain Marvel) had it pretty good.

Carol's memories drift back to that fateful life, Chock full of strange differences and oddities. Most relevant to her is the strange magician known as Warren Traveler. He's a former head wizard for King of England and current arch nemesis of Captain Marvel. In short, he no likey Carol. Which makes him more evil than if he were just evil.

But the guy is evil, So evil that he ambushes CM while she's in the middle of rescuing people from a burning building. It would seem that today's the day Warren has had enough, and he's finally going to kill Carol once and for all (like I said, eeevil...). The two exchange blows, with Carol taking the worse hits before it's over. As she lays in a burning building about to take a final crushing blow, Carol evades the blast and successfully attacks Traveler with... a kitty. Seriously folks, Carol throws a kitty cat at Traveler. And what's more amazing, Traveler seems quite taken aback by the attack. so much so, that he blows up.

Excuse me a minute. I think I just strained something keeping myself from putting together a horribly lewd side comment there.

Anywho, the crisis is averted, and Carol gets herself together and heads off to a public affairs event that's been scheduled. The event won't end the way she expects though, since it's interrupted by Scott Summers, Emma Frost, and the girl from Poltergei... er, Layla Miller. For those of you who missed House of M, just imagine your entire world collapsing around you.

Fade back to... Carol in her underwear. Carol has an interesting dilemma. Instead of pondering how things got the way they were in House of M or even why they were that way, Carol ponders a much larger question. Carol is in the enviable position of being one of a handful of people who really truly lived a better life in that other world. And as such, she's hard pressed to figure out why she isn't a much better person in the here and now of the regular world. Can she really be a better, larger than life hero? That's a question best left answered in her upcoming ongoing series. Or at least, that's what the last page of the story tells us.

The story here is a pretty good one. Okay, the story itself from the vaunted "pages of the House of M" was a little generic, but the character of Carol Danvers is all we're really concerned about. To be honest, I'm in a strange place when it comes to Ms. Danvers. I've always liked her character, but I'm hard pressed to say I know that much about her as a person. The story in this one-shot does well to deliver a touch of her personality; her ideals, her attitude, even her sense of humor are touched upon in this short story. And it's a good take on her, too. She seems like the person portrayed in the story, even if her life was a little shinier on the HoM side. And therein lies the spark. This is a really good lead in to her upcoming series, as it addresses a very valid point. Why isn't Ms. Marvel a bigger, better hero in her normal life? If nothing else, it's nice to see someone be able to pull something positive from the whole House of M thing. Heck, I'm still shocked that one person actually had a relatively positive change in their life during the House of M storyline. (My rant about how House of M failed as a story will have to wait for another day.)

The art... Hmm. The art in the book isn't really my cup of tea. I have to admit, for someone who likes him some Ms. Marvel, they found a way to make her look marginally attractive in this book. Truth be told, a good many characters come off looking really worn and wrinkly. Even Layla Miller, a pre-teen kid, finds a way to look wrinkly and creepy (mind you, Layla is creepy, but that's a story for another day, too...). If you've ever seen that episode of Seinfeld where he dates the two-faced woman, then you'll understand how I feel about the art in this issue.

That said, there are some nice visuals in the book. Mystical bolts, burning buildings, and I like all of the House of M visuals (the firefighters using powers instead of hoses was a particularly nice visual element). All in all, I'd say it balances out.

As extras go, this book delivers in spades. Included with the new story are reprints of Captain Marvel (V.1) #18 (the first appearance of Ms. Marvel's "origin"), and Ms. Marvel #1, #2, and #18. The inclusion of 18 seems arbitrary, but it is the first appearance of Carol in her modern day outfit. Maybe I'm old fashioned (or just old, relatively speaking...) but I thoroughly enjoy reprints like this. For one, it gives readers a chance to see in print events that they may know about only from secondhand references. And second, it adds a lot more meat to the detail of said events. Who knew that Spider-Man's supporting cast played such a prominent role in Ms. Marvel's early career?

All in all, I'd say that the book makes a great introduction to Ms. Marvel for the uninitiated, and a pretty good read for those familiar with her already. I'm a little more pumped to see where her new series is going, which I imagine is what the goal of the book was to begin with.

Story: 7/10 (no new ground aside from one story out of four, but still worth seeing in print)
Art: 6/10
Overall: 8/10 (all things considered, the extras make this a good read)



Moving on... You're green, you're sexy, and you just broke what amounts to the chronal prime directive without having your existence erased.

It's Miller Time.

She-Hulk #5

"New Kid in Town"

Writer: Dan Slott
Art: Juan Bobillo/Marcello Sosa

Note-a-Quote: "" -Awesome Andy (Poor, Andy. Can't even get a break as a good guy...)

Our story begins with everyone's favorite automaton, Awesome Andy, en route to a "secret mission". Using quotes is fun. Andy's helping fellow law firm co-worker Mallory Book recover by helping her with her physical therapy. Mallory admits that Andy's the only one she feels comfortable with while doing it, much to Andy's... er, silence. Well, what? The guy’s got no mouth.

Meanwhile, the Time variance Authority prepares to send She-Hulk back to her time with her new charge: Matt Hawk, AKA the Two-Gun Kid. Using AKA is fun. Anyway, the TVA explain that if Matt were to return to his own time with future knowledge, he'd alter too much of the past trying to "do the right thing." Hence, Jen has to make sure that Matt stays in her time so that he doesn't do too much damage. The pair returns to the present, where they show up just in time (haha, punny!) to stop pair of ne’er-do-well acrobats from flying the coup. Two Gun Kid wins the law group over with his roping, and Ms. Book is quite impressed with his "lasso" (again, quotes... fun...).

The gang tries to figure out what Matt can do to help out in their time when he points out that he's a lawyer. And here they all are in a law firm. How fortuitous! But all does not go fine and dandy. First, Matt has to give up his guns until he can acquire a permit. It leaves him feeling a bit "naked". Second, in order to practice law in this time, Matt has to pass the bar. And he only has a about a century or so of laws to catch up on. Oy, vey! But Ms. Book comes to the rescue, finding an obscure side law that allows Avengers to arm themselves and parlaying it into a way for Matt to get his six shooters back.

How does that help Matt be a lawyer? It doesn't! But it does let him shoot things. And let's be honest here, there’s already a lawyer named Matt running around, and one more might make it all confusing. But it's just as well, as Matt can fill a needed role in the firm by helping to keep some of their more rambunctious "clients" in line. Everyone's a little wary when Matt tries to bring in a fleeing Bushwhacker, but Two-Gun ends up proving that he can handle himself just fine.

So all's well that ends well. Two-Gun gets his footing in the present, and on top of that the dearly departed (or maybe not... who freakin' knows at this point?) Hawkeye leaves Matt a video message whereupon he gives him... a rocket horse! This act alone allows him membership in the Pimpness Society of America (TM)

Matt Hawk wears a pair of six shooters and a cowboy hat.

He rides a metal horse... that can fly.

He outdraws people with guns for hands.

If he could breathe in space, he'd be a god. But since he can't, he has to be a junior member... of the Pimpness Society of America!

Other members include:

Alan Scott (Master of pimpness. Doesn't need to breathe in space, but does it just to piss people off.)

Adam Strange (Went to an alien planet and became it's biggest pimp. Doesn't do too badly on earth, either...)

Hawkman (Can't breathe in space, but makes up for it by showing his hairy chest at all possible times. Can also somehow manage to carry eight dozen medieval weapons despite not having a shirt.)

Jay Garrick (I know you're thinking that he can't, but if he has the presence of mind to flip that bowl hat of his over his mouth, I assure you that it would allow him to ****ing breathe in space.)

The Pimpness Society of America... kicking butt, and getting tail. Old School!

That, my friends, is what I like to call a tangent. Get used to it. They get worse.

All in all, this was a run of the mill She-Hulk issue. But keep in mind that that's hardly a bad thing, as an average Shulkie issue is a step above your average comic mag. There was good pacing, good character interaction, and nice humor elements, too (although I could have stood to see a bit more funny). It was nice to see Jen be nice to Pug without somehow throwing how platonic she views their relationship in his face. It was nice to see Andy showing his "human" side, even if it means more unrequited love in the book. And it was even funny to see Pug be completely oblivious to Andy’s plight when it so clearly mirrored Pug's own. But in Pug's defense, who figures a giant android would have a crush? And on Mallory Book, no less?

Should I mention such things as art here? Well, the art gets a little... awkward in places, but the style works for the book. If anything, costumes and outfits tend to look a little blocky or bulky, and that may well be how they would look in real life. Characters faces tend to convey the right emotions and such blah, blah, blah... you don't really care, and neither do I. Book art no ugly.

Two-Gun Kid should fill a needed sidekick role for She-Hulk in upcoming months (one vacated by Southpaw... hope she comes back soon), and he seems to have fit in well enough with the group. Most of all, I enjoy how story elements keep staying connected. Re-hashing Hawkeye makes it feel like maybe the Gamma Girl will have an effect on his eventual return. Eh, but it's probably all a red herring. It's more likely that lady she moved on the street corner when time was stopped will come back to haunt her. Actually, that is much more likely, now that I think about it...

Story: 7/10 (A good Shulkie story still outshines most stuff in the pipeline)
Art: 6/10 (If you're in for such things, you can find better; but it works)
Overall: 7/10 (I've seen better, but I've seen worse.)



House Shots! (Short reviews on other titles from this week)

Batgirl #73
Writer: Andersen Gabrych
Art: Pop Mhan

The Skinny: In Batgirl's last issue, Cassandra Cain comes back from the dead, confirms that Lady Shiva's her mother, and then fights Shiva to the death (Shiva's, not Cassandra's). Wow, I thought it would take more than one sentence. But why should I take my time when they didn't?

My Take: So, Batgirl's over, huh? And from the looks of it, Cassie's hanging up the mantle of the bat as well. Yeah. Well, I'd complain more, but it's not like I've been buying the book that much recently, either. Not to mention it may not even be low sales so much as clearing the path for other bat-related things One Year Later. As conclusions go, it wrapped things up pretty well. I imagine I can be glad that they didn't kill Cassandra off, and we all know that Shiva won’t stay dead, so there's at least the promise of future shenanigans from both women. Still, I wish it hadn't ended the way it did. Killing Shiva all but guarantees that no matter what, Cass won't be wearing a bat-outfit anytime soon. And that's just the best case scenario.

As I alluded to before, the issue seemed a little rushed. I'm not sure if it was supposed to wrap up its storyline this fast, but it feels like maybe there were a handful of plot points left to cover and they just ran out of time to cover them in any detail. The Cass/Shiva fight in particular seemed a bit quick, although one could assume that the panels were just snapshots of a longer fight. Still, the issue felt a little rushed.

Overall rating: 5/10 (An okay story, but it just didn't do it for me. I may be too bummed out over the ending.)


Nightwing #117
Writer: Devin Grayson
Art: Brad Walker/Rooney Ramos

The Skinny: Nightwing recovers from injuries caused by his recent (mis)adventures. Batman accuses Dick of being self destructive, and asks if Dick really wants to give up on himself for making a mistake. Dick mans up, helps get a few of his former compatriots on the right track, and still has time before it's over to apologize and propose to Barbara Gordon.

My Take: Man, when this guy works, he works. In some respects, this is similar to the previously mentioned Batgirl issue. Clearly, there are a few loose ends being tied up prior to jumping things ahead one year. What's odd is... I don’t know, it just works better for Nightwing. Maybe it's because Dick clearly has a future where Cassandra's isn't so clear. Also, the things Dick does in this issue do more to get him on a positive road, whereas Cassandra may well have taken a slight step to the negative. Only time will tell if this is the precursor to future greatness or just some issue that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Overall Rating: 6/10 (Not super, but it gets the job done.)


That's it for this installment. I'm still trying out different styles and review techniques, so expect this space to evolve and change over time depending on how much time/effort I feel like putting into reviews. If you have any ideas/suggestions/comments, feel free to leave them here or contact me at th_houston75@hotmail.com. Please reference either "waiting for Wednesday" or "House Rules!" in you subject, so I have some idea why you're mailing me (and so you don’t enter the land of junk mail).

Special Assignment - How am I doing? : Do you like the column title? How about the subtitles? House Shots not working for you? Have a better idea? Have a guess for what lewd comment concerning Ms. Marvel and a kitten I was going to make? Answering any of those questions will probably get you cited and/or replied to in my next installment. Heck, who am I kidding? Anyone that replies has a great shot, since I doubt anyone's going to replay. Until next time, take care, play nice, and stay out of trouble.