House Rules! Week of 03/08/06

By Thomas "HouseT" Houston

My style is extreme and my special effects budget is through the roof. Like Ben Stiller in a green leotard, I'm blowing Speilberg's mind right now.

This week: Teen Titans #33 and Captain Atom:Armageddon #6. (Also T-bolts #100, Pulse #14, and Cable/Deadpool #26)


Teen Titans #33

"The Brave and the Bold"

Writer: Marv Wolfman/Geoff Johns
Art: Todd Nauck/Sean Parson/Norm Rapmund/Marlo Alquiza

Note-a-Quote: "I feel like I'm hanging out with my best friend's older brother, and I can't say or do anything right." -Superboy (That's because you are and you can't. And stop talking like you're on a freaking date!)


The bad news is that only two heroes have assembled to launch an assault on the evil Arctic tower of evil. The good news is that those two heroes are Nightwing and Superboy. Well, to be fair, if it was Nightwing and anyone you could feel at ease. Nightwing's just that awesome. Then again, maybe that's part of the problem.

The duo prepares to depart Titans Tower. Conner has a crystal that points towards the tower they're looking for. Nightwing has a batplane and his old disco glider suit. Again, Nightwing is ahead on the awesome scale. As they head off each laments their problem dealing with the other. Nightwing is annoyed that Conner won't admit that he's not back to full health after being beaten by Superboy Prime. Conner is intimidated by Nightwing's very presence (as he should be...) since Nightwing is one of the original Titans and everything. But the two tuck their insecurities away and jet off to their destination.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... er, farm, Wonder Girl hangs out with the Kent family as they check out what's best described as chaos in the sky. Cassie spots a pond and decides to call out Ares, peeping tom that he is. Ares appears and lets Cassie know exactly what's going on. The gods are withdrawing from this plane of existence, and Zeus, selfish S.O.B. that he is, is taking all of his power with him. That's why Cassie's powers are fading... wait, wha? Yeah, Cassie's powers are fading. More on that later. Ares offers Cassie a chance to keep her power, but only if she decides to accept him as a brother. Yeah, there's no strings attached, there...

Nightwing and Superboy are over Canada when a ship trying to ferry people to safety gets attacked by a glacier. I'm not making this up, a glacier comes out of nowhere and splits the ship in two. The two heroes make with the rescue effort, but Superboy starts to feel the wear and almost passes out. Nightwing tries to find out if he's okay, and Superboy gets defensive. Nightwing notes that he can get to their destination by himself if need be and Conner doesn't have to push himself if he can't do it. Their discusson gets interrupted by an explosion which knocks Nightwing into the water. Conner makes the save and uses his heat vision to warm things up enough for Dick to recover. Dick admits that he only brought his glider suit because he didn't want to burden Conner by making him carry him the whole way. Of course, now that's the only way they'll get there.

The two have another discussion on things and their magic crystal starts to glow. Suddenly a kaleidoscope of images from time and space show up to highlight details of both heroes' lives. Dick explains to Conner that despite the image he has now, he made just as many mistakes as anyone else when he was a Titan. Dick notes that Conner has to trust himself now. Conner explains to Dick how he used to trust himself too much when he was staring out and it made him arrogant and cocky. But now, Conner notes, he's learned about being part of a team and is ready to face tomorrow.

Conner worries that with everyone spread out or missing, this may be the event that leads to the Titans becoming like the warped versions of themselves they met in the future, but Nightwing points out that the future isn't written in stone. With things finally settled between them, the pair complete their trip and prepare to face whatever fate awaits them in Infintie Crisis #6... and One Year Later.

Remember how I've been saying that the Infinite Crisis side stories are sometimes more entertaining than the main story? Case in point right here. Now here's a very well written story that bridges the gap between IC #5 and #6. You don't have to read it to know what's going on in IC #6. Obviously Superboy and Nightwing were headed to the north pole, and it's safe to say they'd make it there. But this was probably a story worth telling.

You have Nightwing showing why he is the leader of the Titans. And no matter what other teams or adventures he has, when the chips are down, he leads the Titans. There's also Superboy chock full of doubt and insecurity but dedicated to making it no matter what (almost to a fault). Anyone who was thinking, "These two? With the fate of the universe in their hands?" will be left feeling a little more secure after this issue.

There's also the added side text of Cassie and her power loss, which, while ineteresting leads me into one of the minor complaints I have about the issue. This issue was obviously supposed to have taken place after the Teen Titans Annual, wherein certain things happened. The short list of such things are: Cassie is losing her powers, and her and Conner... ahem... do the deed. Clearly those events would be best served by an element of surprise (not that teen sex is all that surprising, but you know what I mean). As it is, this issue is so well put together that one has to wonder just what would be gained by picking up the annual... whenever it's coming out. Also, a delay of this sort on the cusp of guaranteeing certain things will have no schedule delays (hello, 52?), doesn't bode well for the company's credibility.

That being said. this is an issue worth at least a look, if for no other reason than I doubt it'll be traded into anything and the story's worth seeing.

Story: 6/10 (It has Nightwing. Do I really need to sell it that hard?)
Art: 6/10 (It's art. 'Nuff said)
Overall: 6/10 (You could miss it, but I doubt you'll hate it if you read it.)


Captain Atom: Armageddon #6 (of 9)

"Sometimes, When We Touch..."

Writer: Will Pfeifer
Art: Giuseppe Camuncoli/Sandra Hope/Trevor Scott

Note-a-Quote: "(knock-knock)" -Mister Majestic (I'm a sucker for onomatopoeia.)

The Skinny: Captain Atom gets laid. It's such a foregone conclusion after the end of the last issue that they actually led off with it in this one. And while there was more liquid metal melding and that good stuff than actual bumping of uglies, the text more than indicates that it's intimate enough to qualify as doing the deed.

But for the handful of people that have greater concerns than who's humping who, we return to the main points of the mini-series. Majestic and The Authority continue to address the issue of Captain Atom being on the verge of destroying the universe, while Grifter and the WILDCats continue to address the newly re-emerging Void signature. The Captain Atom problem seems to be fixed when Engineer deep probes him (with all the dirty implications possible), but conversely, the Void problem takes a turn for the worse when the two people infected with the signature (Atom and previously normal Nikola) make physical contact.

My Take: They had me when Captain Atom got some. Seriously, that one page was all I needed to see. They could have sold me that one page, and I would have been fine. Captain Atom continues to show that he's willing to do things his own way, even if it means butting heads every now and then. And despite his air of confidence, his internal dialogue also shows that he does have reservations about certain things (at the forefront being his uncertainty about his new relationship with Engineer).

I don't have much experience with the WildStorm universe, but the characters there are portrayed well. Majestic is noble and a smidge arrogant, The Authority have a superiority complex (and may even deserve to have one) and the WILDCats are equal parts hero and wacky antics. And from what little I know of them, that's the way they all should be. And if they aren't, then steps should be made to make them that way from now on.

This mini is doing as much to give Captain Atom a positive comic spotlight as Majestic's side trip through the DCU did for him a few years ago. I look forward to seeing how it all plays out.

Story: 7/10 (Continues to be a nice meld of comic universes)
Art: 7/10 (Minimalist in places, but it fits the mood.)
Overall: 7/10 (Still on track as a good, solid mini-series)


Thunderbolts #100

"The War at Home"

Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Tom Grummet/Gary Erskine

The Skinny: The two teams of Thunderbolts face off over a threat that could destroy the very universe. The threat? None other than teammate Genis-Vell. Left with the decision of whether or not to kill Genis for the sake of the universe, the teams eventually are bent to the will of original founder Baron Zemo (who's obviously on the "kill Genis" side of the fence). Of course, as we find out later, it turns out Zemo's been stringing them all along to begin with.

My Take: The idea of the Thunderbolts has always appealed to me. Villains, disguised as heroes, with a hidden agenda. But even in the beginning, the seeds were there. The notion that the villains could actually be heroes, and furthermore that some of them honestly wanted that. It's been danced around, expanded upon, and with this last relaunch the team seemed pretty set on being the good guys this time around. Or at least trying to be, despite a few miscues here and there.

So why then am I so disturbed by the notion of Zemo getting his grubby little hands back around the throat of the team again? I can't really say. Maybe it seems like a giant step backwards in the T-Bolts' evolution. Or maybe, much like Vince Macmahon pulling off a mask and shouting, "It was me, Austin! It was me all along!" it's a sign of yet another repetitive cycle of Zemo misdirection and manipulation. Maybe I just didn't like Zemo and Songbird swapping spit. Okay, there's no maybe about that. Of all the people she could ever hook up with, that's just wrong.

But still, the story was told consistently enough. And since I imagine that small knot in the bottom of your stomach was the feeling that they meant to evoke by this sequence of events, I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt. After all, it's not clear what team members, if any, will be emerging to form the next team.

The Thunderbolts team is, as it always will be, it would seem, a boat constantly trying to right itself.

Story: 5/10 (An all right story, even if I hated the ending.)
Art: 6/10
Overall: 5/10 (Only for true T-Bolt fans used to twists of this nature.)


Pulse #14

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Michael Gaydos

The Skinny: In this final issue of The Pulse, Jessica Jones recounts to her newborn child the story of how she first met Luke Cage. The event coincidentally also happens to be the last time she made an attempt at being a super hero. The issue ends with her decision to accept Luke Cage's proposal of marriage.

My Take: I may have a love/hate thing going with Bendis when it comes to his writing, but The Pulse was an excellent display of his writing style at its best. Bendis took a set of characters he's familiar with, a plot that goes to his strengths (i.e. dealing with life outside wearing a mask and fighting villains) and made it into an interesting comic. And yeah. I know he essentially did the same thing wth Alias and Daredevil before that, so don't bother pointing that out.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the story. It's actually kind of charming in a quaint sort of way. The notion that a superhero would give up their secret identity just to make sure a few kids had a place to sleep is something that only a character like Jessica Jones could pull off convincingly. And Luke's speech about exactly why he wants to marry Jessica, while dramatic, makes perfect sense and sounds fine coming from him.

The art is typical Pulse fare, and I'd imagine you'll either love it or hate it depending on your personal taste. I, for one, happen to think it works fine for the title.

Story: 7/10 (How mommy met daddy. Aw...)
Art: 5/10 (I said it worked fine, not that I loved it)
Overall: 6/10 (A solid closing issue for the series.)


Cable & Deadpool #26

"Born Again Part One: With Eyes Closed"

Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Lan Medina/Ed Tadeo

The Skinny: Deadpool gets asked to help track down Cable, who disappeared while investigating the theft of various ancient artifacts around the world. After tracking a lead to an Egyptian temple and fighting off Dark Riders, Deadpool and Irene Merryweather eventually catch up to Cable, who instead of trying to prevent Apocalypse's return appears to be smack dab in the middle of helping it along.

My Take: There was no need for an extended summary because those two sentences sum up the plot of the book completely. Yeah, there was some side story about Cable fighting Apocalypse in the past and all that stuff, but really that's the jist of it.

Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Deadpool on a mission of any sort is entertainment in and of itself. And the big reveal at the end with Cable is just par for the course. I'm not sure why the book always tries to make Cable seem more like a villain than a hero, but for some reason it works. Until, of course, it doesn't, but that hasn't happened just yet.

Story: 5/10 (I liked it, but it's still standard fare)
Art: 6/10
Overall: 5/10 (Deadpool can only do so much for what feels like a filler issue.)


T-Mail!

No mail or anything once again, unless of course I count the porno spam in the comments section of my last post. And I don't. Gee, you'd think someone would have something better to do with their time...


Hated Teen Titans? Loved Thunderbolts? Disturbed by my obsession with liquid metal mating rituals? If you have any ideas/suggestions/comments, feel free to leave them here or contact me at th_houston75@hotmail.com. Please reference either "Waiting for Wednesday" or "House Rules!" in you subject, so I have some idea why you're mailing me.

Until next time House says: If the Harlem Globetrotters come to your town, see them. It's a very good show. And they play ball, too.