House Rules! Week of 04/05/06

By Thomas "HouseT" Houston

Remember how I said last week that this week would probably leave me with more books than I could handle. Yeah, funny story about that... heh... here's your comic review goodness.

On Deck: Infinite Crisis #6, Teen Titans #34, JSA #84, Spider-Girl #97, and Young Avengers #11


Infinite Crisis #6

"Touchdown"

Writer: Geoff Johns
Art: Phil Jimenez/Jerry Ordway/George Perez/Ivan Reis

Note-a-Quote: "Booster. You have no idea how to talk to kids." -Batman (The first of many sweet moments for Bruce Wayne.)

Space, the final frontier. Or... space, a nice setting for any super sweet battleground. From within the Beetle craft, Batman's team prepares to engage the evil satellite Brother Eye. Of course, they have to find it first. Luckily for them, Jaime Reyes (the new Blue Beetle) has satellite location power in his list of abilities. Brother Eye materializes out of thin air... er, space, and engages a small army of OMACs onto the group.

On Earth-Two, E2 Superman and E1 Wonder Woman and Superman continue their discussion. E2 Superman admits that he's made a mistake, and also details Alexander Luthor's plan (which we all know by now, but recaps are fun). E2 Supes notes they need to return to Earth One to stop Alex. Wonder Woman asks which earth is Earth One, a daunting question as there are a multitude of Earths currently floating in the air.

Alexander Luthor continues his crazy plan, dragging two of the alternate Earths to his "petri dish" and slamming them together. One new Earth is fromed, but it fails to give Alex the success he craves. Psycho Pirate notes that the lives on E1 and E2 are being tossed around created and destroyed, but Alex is less than sympathetic. But really, what kind of maniac would he be if he had sympathy?

On E1 at Stonehenge, the remaining mystical beings assemble and attempt to summon forth the newly bonded Spectre. Felix Faust thinks it may be a bad idea, but it's not like he has a better one. Their little ritual works, but the newly arrived Spectre ignores the group on the whole save for Star Sapphire, Declaring that she has numerous sins to atone for, Spectre blows her up. Yeah, there's that kinder, gentler Spectre they were hoping for tossed right out the window. But at least he didn't blow up all of them, so that's something, right? Yeah...

Up in ye old Arctic, Nightwing and Superboy plot how they can possibly overtake the Anti-Monitor Tower O'Doom by themselves. Dick notes that if they can free their friends that are strapped into the machine they might have a chance. Wonder Girl arrives just in time to help with the assault. Three Titans against a would-be god... they may actually have the advantage now...

Batman's assault team breaches Brother Eye's... ahem, eye. Batman sends his various charges out to their assigned tasks, which include blocking surveillance and scrambling circuits. Only two people aren't given assignments. Among them is Mr. Terrific, who notes that he only has one superpower: he's invisible to technology. Keep note, kids. This is important.

The Titan trio continues their effort to free the people strapped into the Tower O'Doom with limited success. Alex decides to fool around with Earth-2 now. From space, Donna Troy notes that Superman and Wonder Woman are about to die Donna tells all of the spacebound heroes to launch a focused attack on Edward Giant-Hands in the hopes of at least hurting him. Ed... er, Alex decides that destiny may be wrong about Luthors and Supermen always being enemies and decides to merge them together. It looks as disturbing and painful as it sounds. Firestorm converts all of the heroes combined attacks into positive matter. Since Alex and his body are anti-matter, it creates enough force to blow off one of his fingers. It's just enough to stop his cosmic fiddling and save the merging heroes.

It's also just enough time for the Titans to get the heroes freed. Alex notes that none of them are needed alive anymore and proceeds to try and relieve them of that status. Psycho Pirate tries to turn Power Girl's mind into putty with his powers, but Black Adam arrives and turns Psycho Pirate's mind into putty with his hand. Yuck. Nightwing notes that he can't figure out how to stop the tower from replicating Earths, so Wonder Girl suggests they tear the tower apart.

Say, have you been wondering when Superboy Prime was going to make his presence felt? That would be now. Black Adam tries to put the smackdown on SBP, but the kid is disturbingly resilient to his attacks. SBP smacks Black Adam away from the Tower, which sends Bladam back to his home Earth. SBP tracks down Alex and tells him that his search for a perfect Earth is over. SBP tells Alex to find Earth Prime, and that they'll make that the perfect Earth. Martian Manhunter, Ray, and the rest of the heroes all attack SBP, with only Manhunter managing to hold his ground. Nightwing tells Superboy to try and dismantle the Tower using his powers.

Back on Brother Eye, Batman makes his way into Brother Eye's main processing core thing-a-mabob. The door isn't really labelled, but you get the idea. Batman attempts to hack into the satellite's systems while it tells him how all of his friends will fail, in particular Nightwing, who is facing a Boy of Steel. Brother Eye wonders if Batman will blame himself for what happens next.

At the Tower O'Doom.Superboy tries to dismantle the tower with his telekinesis. Cassie starts to get overwhelmed by OMACs, and SBP charges in to break up Nightwing and Superboy's attempt. SBP prepares to attack Nightwing, but Superboy swoops in at the last second and declares Superboy vs. Superboy: Round 2 to have officially started.

Brother Eye informs Batman that while Batman has been hacking into the computer system, the computer has been rerouting files to other parts of the satellite. Batman informs Brother Eye that while it's been busy rerouting files, one of his friends (the "invisible" Mr. Terrific) has been activating the satellite's propulsion system. It's been thrown out of orbit, Ensnaring Batman in a group of wire tendrils, Brother Eye tells him that if it falls, Batman will fall with it.

Outside the satellite, the Lanterns note that the OMACs are breaking apart, John Stewart grabs all the now vulnerable humans while Hal goes after Batman. As he vanishes, the Blue Beetle tells Booster that the Scarab is telling him that they're done, and that now Beetle has to get away from the Green Lanterns. Hal pulls Batman out of the satellite in the nick of time, and Batman tells Hal to fly them both to where Superman's fortress used to be.

At the Tower, the OMACs begin to dismantle as SBP continues his tirade. He continues putting the smackdown to Superboy and Wonder Girl, but Superboy won't stay down. With one last huge push, he drives himself and SBP into the Tower, which is enough to destroy it and seemingly refracture reality. The nigh infinite worlds shatter and then reassemble into one New Earth.

Nightwing and Cassie search for Conner, whose battered form is burried under rubble. Conner tells Cassie that he forgot that he was the real Superboy for a while, that they all forgot, but that she should make sure that they never forget again. Cassie tells Conner that he did it; he saved the Earth and everyone. Conner quietly notes that it's cool... then slips away into death. Cassie quietly weeps over his body while the currently assembled heroes look on sadly.

Remember kids, teenage sex will kill you.

What do you mean that wasn't the point of the book? It couldn't be clearer if it was a slasher movie. When kids have sex, one of them has to die, most notably at the hands of a megalomanical superfiend. Doubt me, do you? Fine. Just don't blame me when your heavy petting session get's interrupted by Superboy Prime smashing your head in...

Enough abstract? Okay, I'll stop now.

This issue seemed a lot more settled than the previous few have. There were all of the same venues, but they were a lot more organized than they did before. Maybe it was the fact that there was a lot more story resolution here than in prior issues. That helps things along, too.

Also helping matters is the large amount of good characterization for the leads. This issue could just as easily have been titled "How Bruce Wayne Got His Groove Back," because it was a great showcase of the human side of Batman that gets missed sometimes. Having seen it spotlighted in many OYL titles, it's good to see him get back to basics here.

Bruce's staunch faith in his friends is something that we, as readers, really needed to see him get back to. Yes, they screwed him over, but it was time to put the chips are down, and it made sense for Bruce to get over himself and do his part. Not to mention his sense of humor returned, too. My favorite exchange of the issue was between Bruce and Ollie, after Bruce had given assignments to everyone but Ollie.

Green Arrow: Hey, Dark Knight, what about me? Why the hell'd you call a guy that can shoot trick arrows?
Batman: Just to see if you'd show.
Green Arrow: Brave and the bold, huh? You got me all misty.

And Conner Kent, we hardly knew ye. What is it with DC and writing such great character moments in stories that result in the character's death? We get Superboy back to acting like he should and not some wishy-washy mopey duck, and he has to go and kill himself in the process. It's still a good moment, but it does suck that he's gone... or is he? More on that later.

And lest we forget that there were a ton of other characters that had their own little moments here and there. In particular there are so many characters that had brief, but completely nice moments that it would be difficult to list them all here. Things like Firestorm getting advice from Prof. Stein and Black Adam just being the "lovable" guy that we all know he is just made the book for me.

While I'm not one for art most of the time, there are some pretty good images on the pages. The art only serves to compelment and even magnify the story at times, and that's always a good thing. There's tons of little things and background images that looking at pages a second or third time will net you.

So there's one issue left, and the multiverse is dead... again. Nobody really thought it would last all that long, did they? And all that's left is to take this Crisis parallel full circle and have the fight with the Super Big Bad in the last issue. If it's anything like this issue, then the mini-series will be going out on a strong note.

Story: 7/10 (A lot of story, and all of it solid.)
Art: 8/10 (A lot of art, and all of it pretty.)
Overall: 8/10 (Worth checking out.)


Teen Titans #34

"New Teen Titans Part One: One Year Later"

Writer: Geoff Johns
Art: Tony Daniel/Kevin Conrad/Art Thibert

Note-a-Quote: "Looks like there's no brain damage. He remembers me... Uh, oh. He remembers me" -Ravager (Truly a grasp of the obvious by Ravager.)

It's One Year Later... but not yet. First, we see things through Cyborg's eyes... er, receptors? Anywho, we get nothing but blurry images and static at first. The audio tells us that something big and bad is happening. Things are chaotic, and Cyborg's CPU is failing.

From here on, we only get bits and pieces of imagery. Beast Boy and Raven lament recent losses and talk about their feelings. A... "new" group of Titans are at odds with each other, Two teens tinker with Cyborg's systems with less than successful results. Gar reluctantly tells Vic that he's leaving the team because someone else needs his help. And then, we come to now.

Victor Stone wakes up and struggles to remain standing. In the distance he hears a conversation that leads him to the kitchen. There he runs into Kid Devil and Ravager. Now we all know from the cover that they're part of the current team, but since Cyborg hasn't had a chance to keep up with his subscription, hilarity ensues. Okay, destruction and chaos ensues, but it's pretty funny, too. A set of teenage whiz kids comments on how their newly incorporated tech is working up to specs, but they’ve apparently neglected to include an emergency shut off. Not a big problem though, as Vic is stopped short of completely trashing his would be teammates by the arrival of Robin. Hey, look everybody! Teenage Robin is back. Woohoo!

Ahem. Anyway, Robin catches Vic up to speed on the old teams whereabaouts. Starfire is still in space, presumably alive. Mia is off with Connor Hawke on some island. Bart is... sort of retired... whatever that means, and Raven left the team after she and Gar broke up (tough luck for any of you wanting to see that relationship). And Gar has joined (or rejoined) Doom Patrol. We all know what's up with Superboy (and if you don't, then shame on you for skipping ahead!). Vic wonders (ha!) where Wonder Girl is, and it's funny he should ask.

Over at STAR Labs in San Francisco, Gemini attempts to steal a some wacky science mumbo jumbo. Her radio conversation indicates that she's working for Monsieur Mallah, Monsieur and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain (narf!). But Gemini gets sidetracked by the appearance of Wonder Girl. Gemini tries to get Cassie by truning into a bull. Silly girl, you can't beat Cassie with one of her dad's go to moves. If anything, you'll just freak her out a little.

Needless to say, Cassie stops the bad girl just in time for the rest of the Titans to catch up with her. Cassie's happy that Vic's back, but won't rejoin the group. Ravager tries to get under Cassie's skin. Cassie slugs Ravager, so I guess it worked. Robin states that the Titans need Cassie and that he "needs" her, too, but she's still mad about Tim not being around for the past year. To top it off, Gemini manages to disappear while their all yelling at each other, so Cassie, having nothing else left to hold her there, takes off .

Back at the Tower, Vic tells Tim that these aren't the Teen Titans. Vic tries to call Gar to talk him into coming back to the team, but is surprised to find a recording of Bumblebee sayign the Doom Patrol is unavailable. Tim reminds Vic that the past year has changed everyone, prompting Vic to ask Tim if he's changed, too. Tim notes that he has his share of problems, but that he's fine.

Later, Tim slips away to a secret underground chamber and asks for the status of a project. The computer system informs him that cloning attempt number 96 has failed. The machine states that a stabilizer is needed, and Tim orders the machine to start a new attempt. The machine announces that Superboy cloning attempt number 97 has begun.

So now we have the Teen Titans excursion into the next year. Well, at least the issue's timing is darn near spot on. Here's the breakdown of things that have gone on in the past year.

1) Cyborg is critically injured at some point between now and the next year (most likely early on), and it takes the remainder of the year before he recovers fully.
2) Robin is the only other Titan from the team that Cyborg remembers that is still on the team. Everyone else has either moved on or is dead.
3) The current team includes Kid Devil, Ravager, and has whiz kid twins Wendy and Marvin as caretakers of Titans Tower.
4) Robin is currently working on a secret project to revive Superboy by cloning... re-cloning him. How he expects this to work or even how he's capable of making the attempts is as of yet unknown. Let's face it; Tim's good, but he ain't that good.

The team's new line-up isn't liekly to win any new fans over. If I had made such a prediction, Ravager would be an obvious choice for someone due to flip sides OYL. Kid Devil almost comes out of nowhere, but seems like the pre-requisite animal type for the group. Cassie, while on the cover with the team, isn't back yet, although odds are she will be before too long.

Speaking of which, Cassie's new look is interesting, if not lazy. So her new outfit is a tank tee with her logo and a set of jeans. Hmm. I wonder (heh) where the inspiration for that came from? Ah well, the girl's still mourning. And apparently she's none too pleased with how she was treated (or not treated) in the past year. Tension seems high between her and Tim. A little too high, almost. Of course, by conversation alone, one could argue that Robin may well have "tension" with Ravager as well. She is, after all, hanging on his shoulder. That and Ravager and Cassie don't get along. But with Ravager's attitude and being Deathstroke's daughter, it's not that unusual for her to get on anyone's bad side.

So it's really no big surprise that once Vic activates, he finds this new team so hard to stomach. But rest assured he'll get used to it. Or head off to join Doom Patrol. They're having one heck of a recruitment drive.

And while I know there are quite a few people who are groaning about it, I was pleasantly amused by the inclusion of Wendy and Marvin. Pointless side characters placed there for nostalgia? Maybe. But at least they have the tech knowhow to be useful to the team over time. But if they build a Wonder Dog, I may not be able to shield them from comic geek wrath.

Well, maybe Wendy. She's sort of cute. Er... as comic... teen... girls go.

Just pretend you didn't read that last part.

Story: 5/10 (A OYL title that needs to build itself up.)
Art: 6/10
Overall: 5/10


JSA #84

"When the Dead Call"

Writer: Paul Levitz
Art: Rags Morales/Luke Ross/Dave Meikis

The Skinny: The JSA continue to scrap with Gentleman Ghost, who attacks them with... ghosts. Yeah, I'm still scratching my head, myself.

My Take: Little known fact about me: as much as I loved Watchmen, I got tired of all those old school pirate interludes real fast. So it should come as no surprise to you that I'm tired of the old world flashbacks presented in thsi JSA arc. At least the ones in this issue help advance the story, which appears to revolve around Gentleman Ghost killing the JSA on a certain day to get his life back. Yeah.

This issue is just a notch better than the last one, but not by much. I keep trying to figure out if my lackluster feelings for the arc are the fault of the plot or the characters, but I think I know which way I'm leaning. I hate repeating myself, but once again I have to note that Gentleman Ghost doesn't appeal to me as a high level villain. Which is odd, because other ghost-like villains appeal to me. I absolutely adored the Ghost when he was harrassing Tony Stark... but I digress.

The story got just a little better, so maybe it's going to pick up as it nears resolution, which hopefully will be soon. I sincerely hope this isn't a six part story arc. Improving or not, I want it over.

Story: 4/10 (It didn't improve that much.)
Art: 4/10 (The art's not exactly winning me over, either.)
Overall: 4/10 (The JSA picked a really bad time to go on a downslide...)


Spider-Girl #97

Writer: Tom DeFalco
Art: Tom DeFalco/Ron Frenz/Sal Buscema

The Skinny: May Parker continues to feel the pressure of having seen a premonition of her own death. Normie Osborn continues making his mark with the help of the Venom symbiote. The Scriers attempt to get at Spider-Girl by freeing Roderick Kingsley, AKA the Hobgoblin. In light of all of the events taking place, Black Tarantula prepares to return to the U.S. May decides the best way to stop a precognitive image of her death from taking place is with a fashion makeover. Aren't teens crazy?

Okay, so what May does is change costumes so that she's not wearing the same one she is in the premonition. But all Greek theatre readers know that tricks like that never work. Fate's just mean that way.

My Take: Spider-Girl benefits from consistent storytelling and a solid supporting cast. No matter how many side stories there are going on, all of them end up interesting. Maybe that's because no matter what's going on in the story, it always relates back to May in some way. Her school friends have issues that involve her (whether she knows it or not). Her other friends and family are aware of her secret identity, and thus have their own related issues and anxieties. And of course, her enemies are going to affect her life at some point, be it now or in the near future.

And that's what we're made aware of during the course of this issue. Hobgoblin's going to be gunning for May soon, the Scirers aren't done with her yet, Black Tarantula is prepared to make his presence felt again, and Normie is so afraid of the venom symbiote that he's setting up failsafes in the event that he begins losing himself (failsafes which involve May). And that's just the superpowered problems. Evrything's coming to a head, and there's no doubt that there's a big finish in store.

At least, I hope there is.

Story: 7/10
Art: 7/10
Overall: 7/10


Young Avengers #11

"Family Matters: Part Three"

Writer: Allan Heinberg
Art: Jim Cheung/Livesay/Jay Leisten/Dave Meikis/Matt Ryan/Jaime Mendoza/My Grandmother (What? Everyone else is on the list...)

The Skinny: The true origin of Hulkling is revealed! It turns out that Mar-Vell was indeed a space pimp, which makes Teddy the heir of both Kree and Skrull heritages. So what happens when both sides try to stake a claim? It takes the elder Avengers to keep things civil. But even they can't keep the peace when Teddy decides he doesn't want to go with either planet's delegation. Fighting ensues, and Patriot becomes the first casualty while taking a blast intended for Captain America.

My Take: Why the brother man always got to be the first one to get shot?

But seriously, it's the only thing resembling an issue I have with the book at the moment. It's not like Cap, standing there with his shield, in the presence of a small army of Avengers, is really going to get zapped or anything. But then it's completely expected for an excitable kid like Patriot to not realize that before diving in front of him.

And this is a keystone event in the series thus far. Remember that one of the major issues the adults have with the Young Avengers is the fact that they could be seriously injured. Now that that's happened, there's no telling what the repercussions will be. Assuming, of course, they manage to deal with the Kree and Skrulls with no further incidents.

I like the plotting and pacing of this book so far. There are a lot of internet theories on the backgrounds and histories of the kids. The fact that a good many of those either end up being right or come close to hitting the mark is less a mark of predictability and more a testament to how much background history the creators tap when plotting the book. It's refreshing to see someone be able to make use of continuity without cleaving it into pieces in the process.

One thing I liked about this issue which was discussed in the letters column was the way the covers are drawn. The editor noted that while they like for the covers to convey story elements, they also realize that due to solicitations and the like, cover art will be released months in advance of the actual book. This month's cover is a good example of what they try to do: giving a little insight into the story without giving too much away. Granted, a careful perusal will clue you in that something's going to happen to Patriot, but not exactly what.

This story won't be cooling off any time soon, especially since the Young Avengers are due to play some part in the upcoming Kree-Skrull war. At this rate, it looks like they're the ones that might start it.

Story: 7/10 (Solid pacing and escalation of the current story.)
Art: 7/10
Overall: 7/10 (Hopefully, there's a knock down drag out superfight next issue.)


T-Mail!

It's time to read us some T-Mail!
Reply to some posts and some e-mail!
Might even get one from a fe-male!
(But it'll probably be from a dude.)


Alex "Almeister112" Swindle posted:

Since when has the easiness factor stopped you? Developed a set of standards recently or something? P-shah. Also, I would honestly love an actual T-Mail song to listen to. So if you're a touch too tipsy some night, share your vocal...um...prowess (yes, that's the word I wanted...) with the world!

Alex: Always good to hear fans of the T-Mail song. To be perfectly honest, the only thing really keeping me from attempting to make a version of the T-Mail song is my lack of a proper instrumental copy of the song it's based on, "Let's All Go To the Lobby!" Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure what the name of the song is, but that's the one that makes the most sense. For all I know, it's called, "Lobbytime" or "Traversus Lobbicus" (and yes, I realize that isn't any real language).

But should I get bored enough to track down a copy of said song, I would no doubt make my own cracked version of it in audio form. And then I'd be obligated to hold that T-Mail theme song contest that I've been bouncing around in my head. But the contest is at best still a good many months away...


Uli posted:
(In reference to my Blue Beetle #1 review)

Yeah, he should be able to shrink that scarab on his back down to nothing most of the time, and he could armor up for battle.

I can't really say I was a Ted Kord fan, so I didn't pick this up - but I like Guy so I might grab it. How long before Booster shows up?

Uli: I'm sure they'll resolve the costume thing before too long. Also be warned that Guy has a less than interesting appearance in the book. He's really just there to mindlessly attack Jaime, so make of it what you will.

As for Booster, no clue when he'll show up, but my guess would be somewhere around issue 3 or 4. Of course, he may not show up at all, things being the way they are. There's no telling if or when the book will jump one year ahead.

If you have any ideas/suggestions/comments, feel free to leave them here or contact me at th_houston75@hotmail.com. Please reference either "Waiting for Wednesday" or "House Rules!" in your subject, so I have some idea why you're mailing me.

That's it for now. I'm running way too late with this to get extra witty now. See you next week, which is actually this week. Aieeee!