Wednesday Morning Quarterback – What if…
By blackmore
Ever since a judge said that Smallville violates the Siegel family’s copyright of the Superboy character ( Click for more info ), there has been a lot of speculation about what happens next.
Now, while I don’t think this could ever happen, a cynical part of me would love to see the Siegels get the rights to Superman and sell it off to another comic company. This week’s column is all about:
WHAT IF SUPERMAN WAS PRODUCED BY ANOTHER COMPANY?
Dark Horse - Superman would be drawn in black and white, with just occasional splotches of color. And the book would feature all kind of random appearances by Star Wars characters. I can’t wait for the inevitable Darth Vader/Lex Luthor team up.
Image - I am going to be unfair and go old school here. Big muscles, big guns, random pouches scattered all over Superman’s body, splash pages with no words, and it only takes you a minute to read each issue. Oh, and each issue will come out 14 months late!
Tokyopop – Two words: MANGA SUPERMAN!!!
Marvel – I can see Marvel doing to Superman exactly what DC did to Captain Marvel. They’d make him a complete jobber, and occasionally give him own series and be unable to figure out why it failed.
Or maybe Supes would debut in a huge maxi-series event, with crossovers spanning every comic ever written. It would be written by Bendis and feature multiple covers. Either way, Wolverine shows up a lot.
DC - Maybe the Siegels would just give the rights back to DC. And DC would jump 2 YEARS LATER!!! This time, we find out that during the 2 years we missed, it was revealed that Superman and Batman are actually the same guy and always have been. But don’t worry. DC will show you what happened in 104, a weekly series that is the ultimate in decompressed storytelling! Sure we could have told these events in a four issue mini, but that wouldn’t make us enough money!
Crossgen – Doesn’t really matter what happens as it would just be cancelled spontaneously because of company mismanagement.
Or maybe, they could just sell off to TV stations:
HBO - Superman curses a lot and Lois seems to always be naked.
Lifetime - Starring Eric Roberts as Lex Luthor and Judith Light as Superman...who once dated Lex Luthor, and now Lex Luthor stalks her. Superman cries a lot, yet somehow finds the strength in himself to kick Luthor in the nuts in the end.
NBC - You know the kind of guy who does nothing but good things and then wonders why his life is so terrific? Well, that was me: every time something bad happened to me, something good was always waitin' around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So, I made a list of everything good I've ever done, and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just tryin' to be a worse person. My name is Kal.
And finally, the Playboy Channel!!! Now fanboys really can shoot a load over Superman!
All right, this is about it on our end. Please e-mail me any questions, comments, or whatevers to jackknight@gmail.com. I do read all my e-mails, and I’ll post them with my column. Also, remember to swing by GameFAQs and check out Eisner Cup season 3!
Now, go out and read some comics, you slacker!
Ever since a judge said that Smallville violates the Siegel family’s copyright of the Superboy character ( Click for more info ), there has been a lot of speculation about what happens next.
Now, while I don’t think this could ever happen, a cynical part of me would love to see the Siegels get the rights to Superman and sell it off to another comic company. This week’s column is all about:
WHAT IF SUPERMAN WAS PRODUCED BY ANOTHER COMPANY?
Dark Horse - Superman would be drawn in black and white, with just occasional splotches of color. And the book would feature all kind of random appearances by Star Wars characters. I can’t wait for the inevitable Darth Vader/Lex Luthor team up.
Image - I am going to be unfair and go old school here. Big muscles, big guns, random pouches scattered all over Superman’s body, splash pages with no words, and it only takes you a minute to read each issue. Oh, and each issue will come out 14 months late!
Tokyopop – Two words: MANGA SUPERMAN!!!
Marvel – I can see Marvel doing to Superman exactly what DC did to Captain Marvel. They’d make him a complete jobber, and occasionally give him own series and be unable to figure out why it failed.
Or maybe Supes would debut in a huge maxi-series event, with crossovers spanning every comic ever written. It would be written by Bendis and feature multiple covers. Either way, Wolverine shows up a lot.
DC - Maybe the Siegels would just give the rights back to DC. And DC would jump 2 YEARS LATER!!! This time, we find out that during the 2 years we missed, it was revealed that Superman and Batman are actually the same guy and always have been. But don’t worry. DC will show you what happened in 104, a weekly series that is the ultimate in decompressed storytelling! Sure we could have told these events in a four issue mini, but that wouldn’t make us enough money!
Crossgen – Doesn’t really matter what happens as it would just be cancelled spontaneously because of company mismanagement.
Or maybe, they could just sell off to TV stations:
HBO - Superman curses a lot and Lois seems to always be naked.
Lifetime - Starring Eric Roberts as Lex Luthor and Judith Light as Superman...who once dated Lex Luthor, and now Lex Luthor stalks her. Superman cries a lot, yet somehow finds the strength in himself to kick Luthor in the nuts in the end.
NBC - You know the kind of guy who does nothing but good things and then wonders why his life is so terrific? Well, that was me: every time something bad happened to me, something good was always waitin' around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So, I made a list of everything good I've ever done, and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just tryin' to be a worse person. My name is Kal.
And finally, the Playboy Channel!!! Now fanboys really can shoot a load over Superman!
All right, this is about it on our end. Please e-mail me any questions, comments, or whatevers to jackknight@gmail.com. I do read all my e-mails, and I’ll post them with my column. Also, remember to swing by GameFAQs and check out Eisner Cup season 3!
Now, go out and read some comics, you slacker!
posted by Anonymous at 9:45 AM
1 Comments:
funny
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